A hero comes home after a long day of saving the city.
A hero comes home after a long day of saving the city.
A day in the life of God.
Four friends decide to go to Hell.
Everything I touch turns to…
I maybe slightly bored… so I decided to make a new series of book tags!
And given this is the national monthly holiday of humour I thought I would start on a Comedy Book Tag.
‘A burglar broke into my house last night, searching for money. So I woke up and searched with him.’
I don’t really read comedy, (may make this tag a little redundant, but I don’t really read either so…) but this is comedy book so…default!
‘What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Someone who needs a terrible amount a medical attention.’
Most humourless book
Song of the Stork
Not that being a book without jokes is a bad thing but Jesus Christ, could you at least attempt to lighten up WW2?
‘Why did the chicken cross the road?’
A Book you’ll Always Remember
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Is there ever a book tag that does not have Harry Potter on the list somewhere?
‘Puns about books? I’m drawing a blank!’
The Most Cringest Book
This wasn’t for it’s humour but more for it trying to be cleverer than it was. But hey, still counts!
Best Series of Jokes (Books)
The Winner’s Trilogy
While definitely a good series, the reason I choose it was mostly because I couldn’t choose Harry Potter again
Best Dark Humour in a Book
Your House Is on Fire, Your Children All Gone
This book is hilarious, terrifying, but hilarious.
Oh and as a small titbit, this first week of April is also Library Week, so go visit your local library before it inevitably closes down!
(Joking Of Course)
An assassin has a moral quandary when he finds his target with their infant child.
Find more about T5W here! This week is 2018 Wishlist, things in books you want in 2018 and I’ve got very specific list of things I want from 2018!
A lot of the fantasy books I read in 2017 didn’t actually have any fantastically elements and I’m getting dragon-withdrawal. What I really want to read is something with straight up wizards and mages not in the real world.
On top of the above I’d really want a who-dunnit with dragons. I know that is very specific but let me dream!
Yeah this is a predicable one, but genuinely I’m interested in reading a LGBTQ focussed book. (This is more on me than 2017).
Again this is not 2017 fault but I’m really interested in doing more ARC reviews in 2018 and is probably something I’ll start focusing on.
What do you want in 2018? Comment below!!
He was dying, drowning in his own blood. The little princess floated over him, watching the brown skin turn sickly yellow.
She was young, always would be young and stubborn. He couldn’t die because she demanded it. She tried to scream at him. To get up, to run. Even if anyone could hear the ghost, her screams would have been drowned out on the battle field. An armoured foot crushed him further into the ground. She screamed once more, now in furious and send out her hand, her fingers spalde. The man flew into the air, her webs cutting through his armour and flesh like butter. She didn’t wait to see his fall, once again at His side. she screamed again, what else could she do. Only her destructive webs could touch the living. Still she hammered down on his chest, her tiny fists disappearing into his chest. She didn’t stop even when the battle ceased and his body was dragged away. Only when her hands fist solidly against him, did she stop and wail a final time.
Out of all of his children he was surprised it was James who finally decided to kill him.
Though so many of them had tried Fenrir and his band of rebels, Shylock nearly ending his Empire in one swoop. He was so shocked it was James, that he first thought he saw his namesake across from him. But his eldest was dead, tore apart by the demon that had supposedly come from his loins.
He looked like shit. his shirt wasn’t ironed and the trousers had ink stains smudged down them. Harold raised an eyebrow, flexing against the chaffing rope around his wrists that tied him to the solid oak chair. He’d give his son this: he wasn’t stupid. The walls were stone and the furniture of the office was wooden, there was no metal he could feel anywhere.
James gave no answer to his father’s unasked question and leant against the wooden desk in front of Harold. Only then did Harold realise where he was.
“Did you drag me into the school?” he said looking round at the headmaster’s office. James still didn’t speak, folding his arms, scowling down at Harold as if he was still a pupil. He could almost imagine he was being lectured by his headmaster for his and Saki’s antics. Though usual he wasn’t tied up.
“Shadower helped.” James finally said.
“Shadower? Haven’t heard about her in years.”
Harold rolled his eyes. Fenrir was as cold and harsh as ice, James was metal almost as cold and more stubborn and unforgiving. Immortal borns and their elements. Harold hated to resemble anything close to the metal he controlled.
“Shylock been telling me interesting stories what you did to him.”
Exactly like being lectured by his headmaster. Shylock was quiet and gentle like his mother, but that was only when Harold didn’t make him scream with broken bones.
“Oh but dear boy, you already knew about all of that. what does it change when you hear it from the horse’s mouth?”
He watched James chew his tongue.
“I’ve been ignoring everything, with Shylock, with Ali’. With mother.”
He closed his eyes. The bitch that stabbed Saki. Laughing as he did so they had told him.
“Enough is enough.”
“Finally here to kill me then.”
He looked directly into his own black eyes.
“Go on then, I hope you savour every moment, at least that will annoy Fenrir when you tell him how I begged for mercy.”
He laughed again wondering if he was capable of that after so much pain.
“No.” That surprised Harold just as much as James standing in front of him.
“I won’t savour it, I won’t take pleasure in this.”
Then the hand wrapped around his neck. as it pressed down he wondered if his son would be foolish to turn to metal to crush the metalcaller’s throat. Sadly only warm flesh choked the life from him. His face turned blue and his eyes watered and bulged. He looked up and smiled as best he could as the light of the world faded. James’ eyes looked down with hungry and his father took pride as he was the power James felt in his eyes and was glad, for once, he was a part of his son’s life.
Look at prompts, especially picture prompts, to get your mind going.